Warning! Working with A Coach - And me can be dangerous… And here is why…
Okay, I got you with this hook, right?
You clicked on the video link. Wanted to know more.
And if you’re not new to the online world, you recognized this as a hook. And did it anyway.
I would, too, just for curiosity… So, good for you!
Well, here is the truth:
Yes. Working with a coach - and me - can be dangerous.
Watch the video below to find out why.... (or read on below the video)
Working with any good coach actually is dangerous:
- To your engrained self-defeating thoughts and belief patterns,
- to the survival of old habits and behaviors that don’t serve you any longer,
- To you - feeling not good enough, feeling like a failure…
- And to you - living oblivious to your highest potential…
But working with me can be hilarious, too…
Sometimes I have fun with my clients.
We crack a joke. We laugh together.
We chuckle when we discover how silly the tracks are that our train of thoughts run in, and the ruts where our brain can get stuck – and how liberating it is to finally get unstuck.
How truly ridiculous it seems when we look at our own thinking patterns and feelings in a detached way – kind of from a higher level – and examine them for what they are. Utter nonsense, sometimes. Wonderful, at other times. Fleeting at best. Clouds blowing in the sky, as the mindfulness teachers will tell you.
Sometimes all we can do when we look at our own self-image - reflected in the mirror of another human being that gets us – that understands where we are, who has been there, too, who doesn’t judge is - chuckle.
And suddenly we start seeing this reflection of us – and ourselves as humans - in a different light.
Instead of feeling scared, sad, guilty or even disgusted, our reflection in this world becomes – well, kind of – weird, different, and yes, more and more we recognize that this weirdness is beautiful and deserves our love.
A light comes on. A first sparkle is ignited. This is the moment when we suddenly recognize how utterly ridiculous life really is.
How utterly ridiculous we are to take our life so serious, to be scared of every little obstacle that is thrown in our way, to worry about things that haven’t even happened yet.
And how beautiful and sacred we are at the same time. How wonderful life can be if lived in a deeply human, authentic way.
Deep down, we all admire people who achieved this way of life. Great philosophers and great people of the past and present often did.
And I suspect, since you are still watching this, you are striving to get there, too. At least a bit. I sure do.
We call this personal growth, personal development, self-help, self-development and many other terms. It’s a journey, the journey of life.
AAAh, the wonderful expressions of language…
One of the best expressions of this growth process in literature is in my experience the little book by Herman Hesse: “Siddhartha”. It’s a short read. Not many hard words, even if English language is not your forte or, like myself, it is your second language.
If you haven’t read “Siddhartha” yet, I recommend you do.
And if you have, let me ask you one thing: Do you remember what the river did when the old man Siddhartha – towards the end of his life - sat next to it and reflected deeply on it?
I will not tell you here. If you don’t remember, go back and read it again and notice what the river did…
Think about it. In a way, the river – or nature – could be considered Siddhartha’s coach…
Read the little book (again). I promise, it will inspire you.
And yes, working with me – as with any older and experienced human being or coach, can also be in-spiring.
It can re-awaken your spirit. It can lift you up. It can give you the certainty that we are all human.
And that we are all perfect in our imperfections.
If that still seems like a riddle to you, I want to invite you today to meet with me to explore what it means to work with a coach.
To meet a human being who sees you as you are now – with care and compassion – who recognizes your potential – and holds space and creates the tension, the energy that we all need to achieve the change we need and want in our life.
If that energy is positive, loving if you will, this relationship will serve you well.
You know, in my over 60 years of life I learned that we humans do not grow from knowledge.
We grow from our own insights, from a series of “aha” moments where we start seeing ourselves in a new light, more often than not as a reflection of another human being who cares enough to give us honest feedback - and who has learned to express this feedback in a way that doesn’t hurt our feelings too deeply.
But here is the caveat:
From my training as a physician I know that any intervention that leads to change can hurt – and often it does, whether this intervention is on a physical level (surgery, injections…) or on a psychological level (no wonder psychotherapy – and also coaching - can be really hard work if it is effective).
It really can be very hard to get out of a deep hole, believe me, I know.
And even on a spiritual level, interventions can hurt us – as any priest or exorcist will know.
And, also from being a physician, I know that dealing with a human being in a way designed to help them with their physical, mental, spiritual health, even financial health, or social health (relationships), requires knowledge of what can happen, a true care for the human condition (compassion), personal boundaries (so the helper themselves does not burn out) and above all – a deep sense of responsibility. You could call it morality, respect, or any other word like that.
You know, words never capture the true meaning of communication, no matter what language we speak.
You probably have experienced yourself that text messages can easily lead to fundamental misunderstandings.
And even in direct, person-to-person communication we so often are left utterly speechless, clueless why the person next to us just didn’t understand what we thought we were saying just a moment ago.
As physicians, psychologists, or coaches, we try not to hurt others, or at least not too much. Thankfully, this is also true for most other individuals.
In any helping profession, small, tolerable “hurts”, or “nudges” or a gentle “kick in the butt” are deployed on purpose to help other people change in a direction they themselves want.
Pain is a great and necessary motivator for change. It shows us that something is wrong. Something needs our attention. And if we can change what seems to be wrong, isn’t it the right thing to do so?
"Pain is a great and necessary motivator for change" - Dr. Christine Sauer
If we have a splinter in our finger, isn’t it the right thing to get rid of the splinter and not just take a painkiller?
There are methods to help people get rid of their emotional or psychological splinters, too that cause pain.
Good doctors, psychotherapists and even good coaches can help you do so.
But ruthless people, politicians, propagandists and even some thoughtless advertisers have used these same techniques in a way that can deeply mislead and hurt individuals, drive the splinter in even deeper, so to speak.
History tells many of these tales in all parts of the world.
In any helping profession, trying to help others to change themselves, but even generally as humans, even in “normal” relationships, we end up hurting other people – and we will get hurt ourselves.
Thankfully, we have an innate ability and tendency to heal. Sometimes we need another human’s help to do so, or get there faster.
So here we are again at my initial warning:
It truly can be dangerous to your comfort zone to work with me.
It can be hilarious. It can be inspirational.
And the best thing is, it can be a rewarding experience full of personal growth in a loving, compassionate environment.
Are You Ready to Become The Person You Always Wanted To Be?
If what I said inspired you to take action now, book a free session with me with the link below and find out
Your future awaits.
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